Even with all the luxuries of pinging and constant exchange of photographs, they weren’t prepared for each other after the eight months of the long distance relationship. They got married. They moved into a lovely house and spent the first week doing the rooms up. He comments that she’s gotten plumper. She is annoyed, but hides the annoyance well.
He tells her that she must do something physical. She wants to point to the broom, the duster and the washed dishes. How does he think all that happened? He tells her she must do yoga. It is very effective in toning the body and calming the mind. She thinks her mind would be calm if he just learn to shut up. Fat chance.
So it is thus that she goes to Yoga class everyday. She doesn’t mind the asanas where she must bend her limbs, stand upside down, look like a cobra, sit like a child and such. It’s the breathing exercises that annoy her. She’s annoyed easily. The Yoga instructor doesn’t keep quiet. He keeps blabbering about keeping the mind still, focusing on the breath and looking inward. All this talk makes him sound condescending.
She knows she’s losing weight. At one level she likes the fact that her body is going back to where it was a few years back. But to admit that the Yoga is helping is to admit that he was right. And worse, it meant that she would have to continue with the Yoga classes. Shit!
End of the first month. She weighs herself in front of him. The scales show her to be three kilos heavier. He looks surprised. She tells him that this is all because of Yoga. It’s his fault. He tells her that she can stop going. He looks hurt that his intelligence has failed him. What he doesn’t know of course, is that she’s been stuffing onion rings, french fries and cake in her mouth on the side everday. Just so he doesn’t win.