I’ve written before about the wonderful Tamil Film Music from the 80s. I love listening to it. But I need to figure out which mood is the ripest recipient. Very often, it’s not the sheer loveliness of a song that makes me listen to it. The very association makes you evoke another time, a specific state of mind. With the days here getting shorter, listening to 80s TFM is a bad idea.
It somehow amplifies the disconnect between what I can see outside my window and what I can hear on my speakers. It’s not really homesickness. But you evoke a certain late afternoon mood from childhood, and on certain days, wonder if you’ll ever live through a similar time again. If languidness is already lost.
This sudden feeling of ancientness is not good. It makes you linger over what you have already seen or heard. You make an unfair comparison between what you are now, and what you were then. Listening to this song right now, it worries me if such wonderful movies will ever be made again. I am not without appreciation for some of the stuff being belted out these days, but it is strangely devoid of the familiarity one yearns for. It’s not really about the movies you see. But I cannot explain it.
And yes, that’s what scares you. If all familiarity can be touched only in a time that has already passed you by. If familiarity is only a memory. I need to shrug this mood off. It’s like your soul catching the flu. It will run its course. I suppose.
I am such a Drama Queen.