Poem: An Ordinary Affair

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Such was his pain. To be cheated
by a woman so ordinary. He wished
he could call her an adulteress.

No flames were licking lamps, and
they drank fruit juice. Two glasses.

He wishes the woman had chosen an
affair more passionate. If only she
had shinier hair. Or sat up all night

talking of Rumi to her lover. He could
have then hugged himself at night,
sighing over one word (like torrid).

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10 Responses to Poem: An Ordinary Affair

  1. rads says:

    :)

    Ordinary. Quite the subjective word.

    Rumi’s just breathtaking in his poems.

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  2. Tanmay says:

    I love the picture.

    And the intensity of the heartbreak.

    You might like:

    http://tanmaysahay.blogspot.com/2007/12/2.html

    Like

  3. Yuva says:

    as the picture show window.. and lamp…waiting to lighted… and hope is same for the heartbreak..

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  4. guruprasad says:

    and how could she do tihs before
    he could speak to her about the extraordinary
    love and lovers he had met and mated.

    he’s so sure his affairs
    were nothing but outlets for the lack of passion
    she pured into him and the conjugal bed.

    but then why somethign so ordinary
    why couldn’t she blow her head off
    and maybe his too.

    that would have made him proud

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  5. Sumant says:

    Having made the declaration of the woman’s personality, the rest of the poem seems to exist only to justify it. The problem with this situation is that it makes the poem stagnate at the top, making the reader continuously have to refer back after each line and think “Yes, that’s quite mundane,” before moving on to the next one.

    Instead, consider if you postponed to the end the revelation that the man’s disappointment over his partner’s affair is not in her adultery but its lack of passion. You could then invest in a little more expansion, flesh each image out beyond its current frame in a montage, and then let the reader down gently. Gently, because by then, the images would have already told the reader what you will reveal.

    Just my 2 cents. Cheers!

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  6. rambhai says:

    the emotions in this poems are jus breath takin . the intensity of heartbreak is very painfully depicted

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  7. km says:

    After reading one of the comments, I had this urge to write a “bhavarth”. Remember those things?

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  8. ankur says:

    from where did u get this laltern picture?

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  9. Marvellous. Thanks.

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