On writing a dissertation

In the discussions I’ve had with all my friends who are equally annoyed about the dissertation process, we’ve figured this bit out. To write a dissertation, you need to waste a lot of time. You need to while away your time on the most useless things, like taking leisurely walks, meeting for coffee, reading trashy fiction, trying new recipes, watching films you wouldn’t watch otherwise. The idea is to completely dedicate yourself to a few hours of decadence and uselessness.

After which, you have a brief panic attack. Right after you’ve had all that fun, you begin to recall that in about a month’s time you have to hand in a piece of supposedly original research. The panic plays with various hormones and gets you all high and charged. You realize that you have wasted some very precious hours. And for some reason, the sheer guilt and panic combination results in a few hours of stellar work.

That is the secret. To be able to dissert, you must first waste ample time. Which is what I am doing, writing this post. And now I think, I shall go have a cup of tea. Very slowly.

PS – I’ve also been told that the stuff that needs to be written comes almost automatically in the last fifteen days. I suppose it’s a bit like Vyasa dictating the Mahabharata to Ganesha. Maybe I’ll just hear a booming voice saying – Main Samay Hoon.