Suddenly the mind remembers this fantastic poem. By Faiz Ahmed Faiz.
Teri Samundar Ankhon Mein
Yah dhup kinara shaam dhalen,
Milte hain dono waqt jahan,
Jo raat na din, jo aaj na kal,
pal bhar ko amar, pal bhar mein dhuaan
Is dhup kinaare pal do pal.
Hothon ki lapak
Baahon ki khanak
Yah mel hamaara jhooth na sach
Kyon raar karen, kyon dosh dharen
kis kaaran jhoothi baat karen
Jab teri samandar aankhon mein
Is shaam ka suraj dubega
Sukh soyenge ghar dar waale
Aur rahi apni rah lega.
And a translation by Bilal Tanweer (pdf)
When in Your Ocean Eyes
This shore of sunlight on
The slopes of evening,
This meeting of times:
Not day or night
Not today or tomorrow
In a moment eternal, in a moment fume
Moments on this shore of light
The spark of lips
The clink of arms
Our intimacies,
Not lies, not truths
Why should I secret this, why should I blame?
For what should I lie:
When in your ocean eyes
This evening’s sun shall set
The home shall find its sleep
And the traveler will walk his way
nehamaami 
Aarrghh!! Bad, bad, BAD translation!
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Uff. What drama! 🙂 Yes, it’s a rather watery translation… fancy trying your hand at it Falsieji?
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Beautiful poem truer words have never been spoken. I love all poetry but since I live in ocean city I especially like water and shore related one.
http://www.oceancityshops.net
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Honton ki lapak, baahon ki khanak
Yeh mel hamaara jhooth na sach
Kyon raar karen, kyon dosh dharen
kis kaaran jhooti baat karen
The sheer music as the syllables roll out is lost in translation : )
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Thanks for putting this up, I loved it.
J.A.P.
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Beautiful, and such a balm for the soul. Thanks for sharing this. How I wish I understood Urdu!
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Really, the translation is rather inadequate. But if Urdu isn’t known – what can one do? Maybe I should have a translating competition.
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More proof that poetry when translated loses its soul somewhat 😦
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Awesome. Thanks for posting this, Neha.
//”Pal bhar ko amar, pal bhar mein dhuaan”. Shivers.
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It is hardly Urdu. 🙂 At best it is colloquial Hindi or Hindustani.
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Neha, please delete this comment but on pressing ‘Submit comment’ why does the message say ‘please wait a comment’???
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Falstaff has his own version, which I really like for its freshness.
First I was tempted to mix the two (Falstaff’s and Neha’s) and keep the parts I like from both, and depart where I like neither.
So I came up with this
This shore of sunlight where evening sets,
vertex of the twins of time –
not day nor night, not today nor ‘morrow –
eternal instant, in a flash sublimes.
Moments on this shore of light,
the leaping lips,
the clink of arms,
our togetherness not false nor true.
Why muffle it? Why talk of blame?
Why indulge in trifling games?
When this evening’s sun shall set
in your ocean eyes
and the households sleep content
the wanderlust shall wave goodbye.
Then the version by Bilal was looked at, which I copy-and-paste using the given pdf-link, for those lazy/without a fast network connection. (I hope this is not a violation of any copyright laws in which case the comment may please be removed).
This shore of sunlight on
The slopes of evening,
This meeting of times:
Not day or night
Not today or tomorrow
In a moment eternal, in a moment fume
Moments on this shore of light
The spark of lips
The clink of arms
Our intimacies,
Not lies, not truths
Why should I secret this, why should I blame?
For what should I lie:
When in your ocean eyes
This evening’s sun shall set
The home shall find its sleep
And the traveler will walk his way
-Faiz Ahmed Faiz (Translation by Bilal Tanweer)
It seems everyone is basically using the same words…
More proof of the vagaries of translation.
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Ok. Hang me now!
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Umm. Okay. If you insist.
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This brings back old memories. I remembered translating this poem way back when on a spur.
—–beging xlation————–
As the evening descends over the banks of the sunny heat
Where the two moments of the time mingle
Neither the night nor the day, neither today nor tomorrow
Everlasting a moment, up in smoke the next
These showers of sunlight, but for just a moment or two
These quivers of lips
These jingles of arms
This union of ours, may it be a lie or a truth
Need we cause a fray, need we hurl a blame?
For what reason, need we speak in falsities?
When in the oceans of your eyes
This evening’s sun plunges
Lords and the people will sleep with contentment
And the sojourner resumes his journey
——end xlation——
Regards, Crazyfinger
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The original is lovely. As spirited the translations are, they just don’t do it justice.
Thank you for posting this.
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