Essay on “Not Rape”

*trigger – Warning – if you’re not in the right frame of mind to read about sexual assault, don’t read further*

Moving essay. But more than moving, it is shockingly articulate. The idea of a “Not Rape” …

What we were not prepared for was everything else. Rape was something we could identify, an act with a strict definition and two distinct scenarios. Not rape was something else entirely.

Not rape was all those other little things that we experienced everyday and struggled to learn how to deal with those situations. In those days, my ears were filled with secrets that were not my own, the confessions of not rapes experienced by the girls I knew then and the women I know now.

The way rape is perceived – it is seen as the “worst” sort of assault. As if all kinds of sexual assault can be placed on a scale, and rape is the one that gets 10/10 for being the most vicious, or the most harmful. I don’t think it is quite like that.

The word rape itself – it makes people squirm. But words like sexual harassment or even “eve teasing” never really have the same affect. Even if in some cases, casual eve teasing is more physically harmful, more dangerous or worse for one’s self esteem. But it’s unfair to compare.

I don’t want to even think about this anymore – the whole idea screws with my mind and just makes me too anxious.

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5 Responses to Essay on “Not Rape”

  1. In a society such as the US, where the concept of gender equality is more than what is present in most parts of the world, the sordid tale comes out more often than not.
    However, think of the thousands (I would not surprised if another couple of zeros are added) of women in countries like India, Bangladesh, Malaysia, where these things do not come to light. The instances when a relative gropes people, both boys and girls, and it is in the name of playful fun? I am not even sure that these people even know the concept of ‘Not Rape’.
    The amount of suffering, long term psychological, that the victim suffers is immense. I have heard a story of a close friend who had such an instance when she was hardly six. The pains and the vague memories are carried even till date.
    Being someone who believes in reason, I am stumped in trying to understand the reasoning behind it all. Human bravado, vain show of power, or just an insecurity with their own self that they have to impose it on someone, make them weaker and debase them to appear stronger to themselves?
    An answer I will not understand.


  2. Kavi says:

    Many a time, i wonder how it is possible to inflict such pain ( both physically and emotionally) on someone ! And when a strange emotion rushes in, words fail me..!

    When i hear and see more of this, i wonder how much regressed as a civilization ! And every day, when acid is thrown or a simple innocence of children taken away, i wonder what the future holds.

    And i wonder, what animals think of such so called ‘animal’ behaviour !


  3. Pingback: Thoughts that linger | Musings

  4. Laksh says:

    This post has been haunting me for a couple of days now. There is so much I could say but words fail me. Thanks for bringing this up.


  5. rishab says:

    jury guidelines are common in many types of trials. i don’t understand why in rape trials the “character” of the alleged victim should be allowed to be discussed at all – certainly not in cases such as the one described, where the consent of the victim was never at issue.


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