Film: U Me aur Hum

If this film wasn’t about a spouse suffering from Alzheimer’s, it could have easily been a film about a spouse suffering from cirrhosis. By now enough spoilers are floating around the pipes. So I won’t go into the details. But here’s the biggest catch. It’s actually two films. One “before they got married” and one “after they got married”. I say this because there’s little in common between them. Except for mega doses of cheese. Actually, this film could have been about dairy farms. All that cheese.

I liked the second film better. The one that deals with the angst of feeling helpless when someone close to you is vulnerable. There are several details that make this part of the film very watchable. For instance, the couple’s friends. They are all very real. Squabbling, each with their own story. And yet, they’re obviously “as important as family”. There’s no grey-haired extended family of uncles and aunts pontificating about the sanctity of marriage. The husband sticks to the woman because he loves her.

And the other bit I liked. The couple doesn’t live in a sea facing bungalow near Juhu. They live in an apartment. (Yes, it’s very unrealistic that they have this fabulous by-the-sea apartment – but we’ll just assume there was some secret inheritance involved.). The one thing that does get you is that no one in the film ever drinks water, tea, coffee or even fruit juice. It’s always alcohol. Nothing but alcohol. And not just a social drink. The kinds that gets you seriously and embarrassingly drunk and results in hangovers.

Refreshingly, there is also the lack of motherly sentiment. I was half scared that they’d show that the woman took one look at her baby and everything became quite alright. Or that someone would appear on the screen and make a long speech about the baby’s well being. But nope, none of that. They’re more concerned for the sheer physical safety of the child. Nothing to do with “mamta”, “maa ka dil” and “maa ka pyaar”.

But there are long speeches in the film. Of other kinds. Which gets very tedious. Ajay Devgan is so intent on proving that he can speak that he launches into these monotonous, long winded lectures on love and responsibility. He talks, talks and then talks some more. On the other hand, Kajol is brilliant. I didn’t quite realize that she was this fabulous. Even when she is lost, or screeching, or struggling to remember the smallest of things – you don’t cringe. But there are other parts of this film that are very cringe-worthy. So no, you don’t escape that shrug of the shoulder and the futile attempt to dig your head into the popcorn box. In fact you don’t even believe that this man and this woman are in love, of any kind. It’s only in the second half, when you see Kajol and Ajay trying to make the best of what they have – that it gets into that good quality mush.

There are a few tense moments in the film. Kajol rules them all. Ajay Devgan is a mere prop in this film. Be warned. But overall I didn’t mind watching the film. I just wish they had chopped the first hour off.

I don’t remember any of the songs, except a couple. Nothing there. And there’s an adorable dog in the film too. I wish they’d shown more of the dog in the film. Though it seriously needed to go on an exercise regimen.